If you hadn’t noticed, today is Valentine’s Day. What’s worse than the commercialisation and mass consumerism of such an individual and precious thing as love? Probably listening to people endlessly waffle on about that very fact.
We’re not here to do any of that. If you want to go ahead and celebrate like Valentines was invented just for you, be our guest. If you want to bemoan its schmaltz and sickening exploitation, you’re welcome (though maybe just ignore it instead). You might be doing Galentines, staying at home with good food and good wine, or feeling unfortunately heartbroken.
Whatever your plans, we have a something for you. Because whatever your age, gender, orientation, we can all take a moment to appreciate love. Not by buying mass-produced cards or 3 for 2 courses at your local love-in, but by dedicating just a little (or a lot should you wish) of your time to reconnect with love, whether you’re single, dating or married for 40 years.
Here’s our pick of how to do so.
The Book:
It’s incredibly hard to narrow down books on love. They’re basically all about love in some form or another and many are incredible. We’ve sort of managed it, getting it down to two: The Course of Love by Alain de Botton and The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan.
Why these two? Alain de Botton is the philosopher of our time. He created the School of Life, coaching us through life’s difficulties, and is the author of many works about the modern day. The Course of Love, however, is a little different. IT’s both fiction and non-fiction; the story of two people’s relationship, peppered with philosophies and insights. It’s a real “I know exactly what he’s talking about” book, one that won’t have you desperate to get to the end, but eager to savour and keep each intimate morsel.
If you’re shorter on time, The Lover’s Dictionary is ideal. This short documentation of a relationship from A-Z is heart-rending, romantic and relatable, as well as beautiful. Both will put a smile on your face and a tear in your eye.
The Talk
If there’s a subject we want to know more about, you can guarantee TED will have a talk about it. Or in love’s case, a few playlists. It’s rare that a TED talk won’t hold your interest, and these are no exception. We recommend checking out Esther Perel’s lovely talk about desire in long-term relationships. She looks at teaching us how to say “I turn myself on/off when” rather than “you”, and how love and desire aren’t always the easiest bedfellows. It’s also mightily apt as it was first aired on Valentines.
If Esther sparks your interest, check out her eye and mind-opening talk about infidelity: “Monogamy used to be one person for life, today monogamy is one person at a time.”
The Film
This took a lot of thinking about and the decision still leaves hands hovering uncertain over the keyboard. However, decide we must and we’re going for 2004’s strange, existentialist piece Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
It seems odd that actually, the films that always make the top spots in any romance list aren’t the happy clappy Richard Curtis kind. They’re the ones that take on the entire scope of love – infatuation, devotion and heartbreak. Films like Casablanca and Brief Encounter are seen as the greatest romances ever captured. Yet neither end happily.
Eternal Sunshine concerns itself with falling in and out of love, and the pain involved. Two exes decide to have their memories of each other erased as the pain is too great, but in order to do so must relive their beloved relationship while their recollections disappear. It was a seminal romance in 2004 and remains so to this day. Bittersweet, beautiful and somehow real.
The post Valentine’s Day: A List About Love, Whether You Like or Loathe It appeared first on Felix Magazine.
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