We’ve all witnessed some behaviour on the Tube that is a little odd, slightly outside social norms, or just plain rude. Whether heading to or from work or coming home from an evening out, there is no doubt you’ll encounter some of these quirky commuter habits.
Eating Food – Especially Home Cooked
The odour spreads throughout the carriage, people look around and there, there is the culprit. With a tupperware container, a plastic bag and last nights chicken casserole and rice being gorged on by an utter asshole.
Eat somewhere else.
The “Manspreaders”
If you’re not familiar with the term, a “manspreader” is a guy who sits with his legs wide apart thus taking up more than his allocated seat allowance.
This can only be due to having little to no awareness of the person next to him and it’s one of the more annoying commuter habits, much like…
Bags on Seat
When bags have fully evolved and can roam the London Underground system independently they will have every right to take up their own seat.
But for now, that bag needs to go on the floor, your lap or the “shelving” behind the seats on the Tube. The culprits (the passengers, not the bag), usually give you a look of disgust when you ask them to move their bags.
Next time, just sit on them (the bag, not the passengers).
Reading Other Peoples’ Newspaper, Phone or Book
The Metro newspaper, available free to Londoners, is generally piled high in every Tube station in the morning so there really is no reason for certain commuters to read over other people’s shoulders. Grab your own paper next time and keep your eyes to yourself.
Reading someone else’s newspaper is nothing compared to reading someone else’s phone. Whether the person is playing Candy Crush Soda, catching up with a group chat or frantically typing emails spying on them is more along the lines of creepy than quirky.
If this ever happens to you start typing out a message on your phone along the lines of “Some weirdo is reading my phone. Call the police…”. They’ll soon get the message.
Clipping Nails
Filing your nails is a pretty standard way of passing the time on the Tube as long as the filing dust doesn’t fly into anyone’s face. However, some passengers take it upon themselves to clip their nails and this has even been known to involve feet. Some grooming tasks should be left at home, nail clippers included.
Body Odour
Some commuters seem to skip the shower and deodorant in the morning in order to have time to grab their £4 coffee from Starbucks. Something here doesn’t quite add up as they still managed to find time to stand in the queue for said coffee.
Your personal space circumference already gets a pounding on public transport so there is nothing worse than inhaling dank body odour at 8.39am when you’re peeved at running late.
The next time you are face to face with the strap-hanging armpit of one of these B.O. offenders perhaps you could politely suggest that they switch up their morning routine and ditch the Americano in favour of a quick shower. Just lean over and whisper the French word for shower: “Douche!”
by Elle Linton
The post Transport: The London Tube Bad Behaviour Guide appeared first on Felix Magazine.
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