How to Wear Sunglasses Without Looking Like a Twat

We love sunglasses. Whether embracing your inner rockstar, rapper or simply hiding your circles, sunglasses are both functional and good looking. However, as we know there is a fine line between looking like a debauched LA celebrity and just looking like a dick trying to escape the fact they work for the Man. Nevertheless, London is a catwalk. Embrace your inner personality. But how can we make it believable? Fashion is all about embracing a higher ideal of yourself, a separate ego. You need to live and breathe within the look in order to truly pull it off.

 

Weather

Don’t wear sunglasses when it’s cloudy. Especially when it’s- you know- the dark kind of cloudy between October and February. You struggle to see enough already. Everyone else can see you though and thinks you either vain or affected by a light sensitivity. You might be able to get away with Johnny Depp style tinted lenses, however.

Personality

The true icons of sunglasses do get away with wearing them all the time. You need a flamboyant personality to match. Alternatively, just trying to be more friendly in your appearance rather than narcissistic can stop people wanting to judge you. You are better than no one and glasses do nothing to change this. Smiling actually looks rather good while pouting and nodding your head like a pigeon is prime twat material.

Your sunglasses should be part of the rest of your style. If you want rockstar aviators then accessorise appropriately with jewellery.

Style

Obviously gold-mirrored aviators are going to stand out a lot. If this isn’t really you then don’t wear them and find a more subdued pair. While you would think sunglasses should surely be gender-neutral, this is definitely not true. However, you don’t want an excessively gendered pair! Men rarely suit wrap-around security style just as for women Lady Gaga size, vibrant frames are all too catwalk for Oxford Circus.

While no one will criticise a hefty investment in a pair of Ray Bans, it’s fair to say that spending a month’s rent on a pair shows you really need a hobby. Most of us are only going drop them on the pavement anyway. Look for interesting discounted designs in TK Maxx.

Night

Wear sunglasses at night and you can’t see where you’re going. In fact, driving with sunglasses is extremely dangerous. As for the rest of us, wearing sunglasses on a night out is sure to end in hard, inebriated criticism.

Keep them with you throughout the day, however, since immediately before night you could have a harsh low sunset. This is a time when they are truly necessary as well as looking great.

When to Remove Sunglasses

Going into a big shop or mall? Take them off. Going a few stops on the tube? The same applies. Maybe the Circle line is an exception. It is also quite courteous to remove them when talking to someone indoors, seeing as they represent a physical barrier between you that’s biased in your favour. Certainly remove them when dining indoors.

 

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

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