Get into Rugby with the Handy Felix Guide

You might have noticed that BBC1 disappears under a cloud of tackles for five weekends a year in February. You might despair of this or you could be like me, whose only cheer amid the chilly, wet winter months of the new year is when big men get muddy in a fight for a ball.

Whatever your feelings on rugby, we’re here to help sort the scrums from the mauls, the conversions from the penalties in an effort to spread the wonder and get you watching. Crouch, bind, set – let’s go.

The Basics

Don’t let a little thing like lack of understanding stop you. Rugby games last for 80 minutes. Unlike football, there are enough actual injuries to make injury time laughable. Instead, the clock is stopped when play is, which also stops anyone time-wasting or fannying about.

The basic idea is players must carry a ball over the other team’s try line to score. Once over, the ball has to make contact with the ground while you’re in control of it. This gets you five points, lots of cheers and pats on the back hard enough to fell a rhino.

The Key Rules

You can only pass the ball backwards to your team – you’ll only see the ball go forward if it’s kicked. If you’re in front of the person carrying the ball and about to play, you’re offside.

If someone on the opposite team has the ball, you can tackle them to the ground. Despite how violent it looks, it’s done with real consideration for safety.

If you’ve been tackled to the ground you have to release the ball. Likewise if you’ve tackled someone, you have to step away from the situation. Effectively, both of you are taken out of play for the moment and your teammates will take over.

If a player does something really bad, they can be red carded. They can also be yellow carded, which means they are taken out the game for ten minutes – we say they’ve been put in the sin bin.

Scrums

If the opposition fouls, you can either scrum or kick. If you choose scrum, you pit your entire team against theirs. The heaviest guys in each team get in a triangle formation and lock heads. Think of it like deers locking antlers and you’re not far off. Your side get to roll the ball into the middle and your team push it into their half. It comes out the back and you’re good to go.

A lot of this comes down to combined weight – Tonga’s pack were the heaviest last World Cup with a whopping combined 3338kg. Pit that against Uruguays 2811kg, we all know who’s going to push hardest.

Kicks

Deciding to kick comes down to where you are on the field and the scoreboard. If you’re in range of the posts and you can kick it between them, you’ll get three points, but if you’re really close to a try, you may go for a scrum instead. If you’re in the other teams territory, you’re going to kick it way down field.

When you score a try, you also get to kick between the posts. This is called a conversion and adds two more points. You can also kick for three points at any time, but it’s usually difficult.

When the ball’s kicked off the pitch and out of play, there’s a line out. Teams line up and chuck a teammate in the air to catch the thrown-in ball. It’s incredibly impressive to watch 100kg men thrown in the air like (hefty) feathers.

Mauls and Rucks

These are frankly complicated and not worth learning now. They’re when a group of players get together over the ball. Rucks are on the ground once someone’s tackled, mauls are off the ground and the ball is always moving. There are so many rules that you may as well sit back, watch the fun and let the ref explain.

Respect

The thing I love most about rugby (especially when compared to football) is the demand for respect between players and officials. Only the captain of the team may speak to the referee. This stops anyone daring to get in the refs face, ensuring a gentlemanly discussion takes place between three people max.

Rugby, unlike football, has video refereeing, believing it makes the referee more of an authority rather than less. A TV judge points out if the ref misses something and the referee can ask their opinion too. This means the referee very rarely makes a bad call – you just can’t argue with that.

Diving is a rarity in rugby, both because the TV judge will catch it and because good behaviour is hammered into players. Good behaviour is demanded at all times. If a player does something stupid or offensive off pitch, they’ll likely be held accountable on it. Many players are removed from teams by their own coach for not acting correctly outside the game.

There are, however, far more fisticuffs in rugby. Adrenaline is always high and when you spend your days getting taken out by burly men, fighting seems rather vanilla. A punch is more like a prod to these guys.

The Most Important Rule of Rugby

This is the one thing you should know before you watch: rugby players are hot. Yes I’m bringing this down a notch, but it’s important. It doesn’t matter if you’re not into guys – this applies to the less-televised ladies too.

Sure there are always going to be those less-favoured in looks. Cauliflower ears are hard to overlook and some look like bare-knuckle bouncers with bad teeth. However, there are more than enough lookers to make even five minutes of tuning in worthwhile. Screw scrum tactics and ruck rules, one look at Leigh Halfpenny will have you wanting to practice tackling with him all night long.

The Six Nations

If we’ve convinced you, check out our guide to the Six Nations and you can see what the current competition is all about.

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