WTF is it with Fidget Spinners?

Fidget spinners have taken the world by storm after the internet resurfaced this ‘90s concentration aid as the height of the 2017 school playground. In the last few weeks these three-armed gadgets have sprung up in corner shops and street markets alike across London.

What is clear from this sudden rise is that like the Crazy Bones, Tamagotchi, Beyblade and Yu Gi Oh cards before, this trend has been met by classroom bans as adults realise a trend that will therefore soon spin out like those that went before. Until then what are the key things to even vaguely understand about this new phenomenon?

A Medical Aid?

The spinner was originally intended to help people with concentration difficulties, notably Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. On a broader basis it is easy to see how anyone with a restless leg or habit of biting nails could benefit from such a focus for their excess energy. However most evidence disputes this idea with little evidence to suggest concentration is actually increased through using the toys.

Critics have argued that the recent popularity of the spinners has led to bans in schools that mean ADHD sufferers have been victimised as a result of losing their concentration aids but then there is a distinct irony that the spinners have been banned because they are too distracting.

As for the majority of the population it is difficult to see the appeal. The spinners exert a kind of gyroscopic force like a spinning top that can be felt when moving the spinning device. Basic models come in a variety of colours and patterns but it is difficult to see how the iPhone generation can be impressed by such features. The “tricks” that no doubt form the feudal hierarchy of fidget spinner fans revolve largely around tossing a spinner between two hands. Amazing…

Variations

Most of the kind of local shops where you would expect to buy a phone case or a lighter now sell the common fidget spinner design. However the internet naturally provides a wealth of alternatives and this simple device means craftsman across the world have been able to custom make unique designs.

Such franchises as Batman and Harry Potter have seen spinner homages available to buy.

For £100 you can buy the popular Eyelien “Delta 9” Fidget Spinner (left) that has nine internal gears that also spin as the centre axle rotates. That’s rather more impressive but surely there are better things to spend that money on that might actually still be wanted next year?

Gallium Fidget Spinners

The internet loves gallium. This alloy is solid at room temperature but melts with the heat of the human hand. Several Youtubers have combined this with the internet trend for fidget spinners with a result that is just as breathtakingly underwhelming as it sounds.

This video is ten minutes of your life you won’t get back. The vlogger introduces gallium, casts a fidget spinner, puts it on a bearing and it spins. He then places it in hot water and we watch it melt. Thrilling.

Rocket-Powered Fidget Spinners?

Youtuber “TheBackyardScientist” posted on May 30 his invention that he believed signaled the end of the fidget spinner trend. “Ok that’s it. The Fidget Spinner trend is over ’cause this is the best one ever! I built a custom fidget spinner out of 1/4in aluminum plate and strapped 3 E sized rocket engines.”

That boastful claim may well have signalled the end of the trend since the invention barely resembled a fidget spinner and looked more like a custom-made catherine wheel cut to the same shape.

Fidget Spinner Porn

In May Pornhub reported “fidget spinner porn” was its most trending term and fifth most searched term overall with massive popularity in those aged 18-24 while women were 19% more likely to search the term. What they were actually looking for is hard to even imagine…

This is where you realise a harmless children’s toy really has become a fixation its more mature fans can’t escape from even at their most private adult moments. But who are we to judge when with a turbulent world in uncertain times full of attention-crippling apps, streaming videos and Deliveroo, young people have decided to shut themselves in on a physical gadget with all the simplicity of a yoyo? Probably quite right as it happens…

 

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

 

 

 

 

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