A Luxury Houseboat to Whet Your #PropertyGoals?

We’ve considered living rent-free in London on a boat but shouldn’t we keep an eye on the end goal? Fortunately, London’s waterways are home to not only some of the cheapest residences about but also the most expensive. Think ahead to when you may own one of these floating penthouses and those Monday mornings will all seem worthwhile.

5 Bedroom Houseboat in St Katherine’s Dock, Wapping, E1W – £3,700,000

Zoopla advertises: “A truly spectacular and quite unique 1930s steel barge which has been converted into a magnificent contemporary houseboat.” If you thought a steel barge would suit your design tastes of industrial wire-frame light fittings then think again – this contemporary interior boasts clean white walls and soft furnishings.

Ironically, the home cinema screen featured in the advert shows a still from Bond thriller “Skyfall” as though to subconsciously confirm to a buyer disillusioned with life that precisely what they need right now is a multi-million pound boat. Your villainous aspirations might not agree with the trampoline on the main deck.

 

3 Bedrooms, Plantation Wharf Mooring, Battersea, SW11 – £1,380,000

Tired of the corridor-like existence of most flats and terraced houses? Take your narrow living to the wide banks of the Thames with this bijou boat that River Homes claims maximises the “movement of natural light” as if your money can steer God’s own rays with a few servants.

Plantation Wharf is, believe it or not, still seasonal despite the “sun deck” that future residents may come to rename quite swiftly. The property includes a 123 year lease, 3 bathrooms and has been designed by “people who understand living on the water” and therefore includes Bluetooth-controlled heating and “custom fabricated extra-large portholes”, or big windows…

 

1 Bed Penthouse, Royal Docks, E16 – POA (C. £500,000)

This bespoke German design by the firm Rev House boasts status symbol luxury that allows you to: “Feel at home with every creature comfort your heart desires.” However, this one-bedroom bespoke floating penthouse is estimated to cost just £500,000 and is fully customisable in its layout with options for a sauna and underwater LED lights.

The boat is moveable and the hull is guaranteed to last 20 years before needing servicing. Agents Fine & Country are looking to acquire more leisure moorings in Royal Docks, E16, which cost £1,300 a month and you are not permitted to use one as your full-time residence.

As for the roof terrace there is the slight inaccuracy in the description: “the vast 1,076 sq ft roof terrace is perfect to relax, celebrate or enjoy barbeques with friends.” At £1300 a month for a second home, all that remains is to buy some bespoke friends to complement your narcissism.

3 Bedrooms, Cardogan Pier, – SW3 £2,250,000

You have missed: “a superb opportunity to acquire what is possibly the best houseboat available in London.” as this property from Knight Frank is now under offer having made headlines last year when it went up for sale. The boat moored in Chelsea will cost £27,000 per year in mooring fees but boasts clear views to both banks of the Thames.

 

 

 

2 Bedrooms, St Katherine Dock, London E1W – £375,000

This more modestly-priced vessel is an actual Brexit boat according to Wayne Walker Property Consultants who state she was designed by a team of specialists to travel on almost all the navigable waterways of Europe, including seas in good weather. Escape London and its frills altogether with this robust, estate-car style traveller.

The listing that remains despite 8,100 views since 2015 reads that in 12 years she “has explored the rivers and canals in Europe including the Danube, the waters of the Channel, the Baltic, the Black Sea and the Northern Mediterranean.” The far more reserved and quintesentially boat-like interior is the kind of practicality that matches the space for a car on the stern.

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

 

 

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