Politics: Fighting the Pests of Westminster

The Palace of Westminster’s pests – the unelected and furry kind – are creating havoc in the corridors of power but the simplest solution has been ruled out because of fears over health and safety.

As if the recent goings-on in the two Houses of power have not been disturbing enough, lawmakers have been upset by the growing number of rats and mice, compounded by an infestation of moths. Battersea Dogs and Cats Home has offered to come to the rescue with its own expert mouse catchers but Westminster officials have rejected the idea of drafting in some cats.

A spokesman for the Palace of Westminster sternly defended its ban on cats. “This rule is in place because of the duty of care that would arise in relation to animal welfare and the health, safety and wellbeing of members, staff and visitors on the Parliamentary estate,” he said.

That odd ruling flies in the face of the folklore tale of Dick Whittington, whose rise to political power as Lord Mayor of London supposedly owed much to the money he earned from the mouse-killing skills of his cat.

The real-world cost of controlling Westminster’s vermin has soared this year, as renovation work in the ancient complex has disturbed the pests. In the first six months of this year there were more mouse sightings than in the whole of 2016. Officials have even hired a full-time pest controller who has so far set more than 1,700 traps.

The officials who monitor such things – with a worrying attention to detail – say that 411 mouse sightings were reported between January and June, compared to just 313 in the whole previous year. Spending on catching moths reached £8,900, while another £16,000 paid for a hawk to control pigeons.

A spokesman for the House of Commons said the increase in pest control costs was due to “a higher number of maintenance projects across the estate which have disturbed pests and made them more visible, increasing the need for pest control, hawk flying and moth deterrents. Office renovations on the estate have also resulted in an increased requirement for pest control measures.”

But Lindsey Quinlan, Battersea’s Head of Catteries, insisted that there was a viable solution at hand. “Battersea has been hearing persistent reports of mice scuttling around the Houses of Parliament for several years now, and the latest figures released clearly demonstrate that taxpayers are funding a rising cost for pest control in our Government buildings.”

“Battersea has over 130 years in re-homing rescue cats, and was the first choice for Downing Street, the Foreign & Commonwealth Office, and the Cabinet Office when they sought our mousers to help with their own rogue rodents.

We’d be more than happy to help the Houses of Parliament recruit their own chief mousers to eliminate their pest problem and restore order in the historic corridors of power.”

Battersea believes its experience in placing such successful mousers as Larry at 10 Downing Street, Palmerston (the Foreign Office) and Gladstone (the Cabinet Office) over the last few years should allay any perceived health and safety concerns about having cats prowling the country’s most important offices. All three cats have become high-profile performers who are popular with Government employees, tourists and visitors.

The charity currently has more than 60 cats who need a home and it has short-listed a number of potential “Government employees” who could be up to the job of patrolling the endless corridors of the Houses of Parliament.

MPs who have sought to take matters into their own hands have apparently been disciplined for taking their own cats into their offices. Minister Penny Mordaunt is among politicians who have been rebuked by officials for bringing their cats to the office. A former Minister for the Armed Forces, Mordaunt tweeted: “A great believer in credible deterrence, I’m applying the principle to the lower ministerial corridor mouse problem.”

Tory backbencher Pauline Latham said the ban on cats was silly. “There are definitely more mice about. We see them all the time. They say we can’t have a cat because they would go on desks and be unhygienic. What do they think the mice do when we’re not there?”

 

by Bob Graham

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