Forget the Daily Mail’s Press Award, Who Won the Dress Award? :-)

Certainly not Paul Dacre! The 68-year-old father-of-two and editor of the Daily Mail wore a tired tuxedo as he picked up the Newspaper of the Year award at the National Press Awards last month. Our Daily Mail-style body shaming reporters had an absolute field day.

Paley Male!

Nothing about Dacre’s look screamed “winner”. His black and white outfit was boring at best, with not a hint of colour or velvet. Husband of successful professor Kathleen Thomson, Paul looked washed out and pale, with a grey comb-over hairstyle that reeked of impotence and limp insecurity. Time to get himself some sunshine though it’ll be a long while before he’s beach-body ready!

Dacre, seen as the male Dawn Neesom, did try to turn heads with a flirtatious bow tie, hoping to emphasise a bulging Adam’s apple. Sadly it fell flat as his neck looked flabby and his bow was decidedly floppy.

Totally Stale!

The only thing Dacre did right was opting for long, loose trousers. He’s a man who knows that knees always give the game away for the elderly, unlike his fellow media veteran and Sun proprietor Rupert Murdoch. Supermodel Jerry Hall’s 85-year-old husband showed off some extreme kninkles (that’s knee wrinkles, shown left) on holiday last year. If only he read the Daily Mail, Murdoch would know that a knee lift costs only £350. The Daily Mail’s svelte columnist Sarah Vine is the nation’s acknowledged expert on sexy legs and may have advised her big-paying boss Mr Dacre to keep his pins covered.

Pale Paul’s dismal outfit was at least a change from his normal efforts: the sagging editor is rarely seen in anything beyonda burgundy tie and blue shirt. We can’t decide what’s more of a surprise: his expanded wardrobe or the Daily Mail’s victory. Our verdict? Just be glad you don’t have to look at either for at least another year.

 

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