How to Master Confident Body Language (with Monkey Photos!)

We claim we live in an equal, free society. However, basic human nature means we are all guilty of perceiving different characters based on how they present themselves. We all try to control this by changing how be present ourselves through body language. This can be as simple as our dress, make up, hair and shoes but can also be as complex as posture, walking style, tone of voice and manner.

We can’t all turn from slounching zombies scrolling social media to Royal Guardsman overnight. However, every one of us can upgrade how people see us with just a few simple tricks. Think about where you could improve most and see if any of these help win the interview, date or presentation. We have even used hillarious monkey photos as motivation- just don’t try to match what they’re doing.

Posture

This is the cliche you expected when coming to this article. We don’t expect the appearance of having an iron girder up the back of your jacket, but it remains that a supported back is both healthy and better looking. When standing you should keep straight but relaxed, not stretching your back but allowing the natural ‘s’ shape. Concentrate more on your neck, keeping it straight by looking at the horizon. You should aim to keep the majority of your weight on the balls of your feet, which sounds odd but allows a more natural bend of the knees. These should also be relaxed and not locked.

When sitting at a desk for long periods you will notice if your posture is wrong. Sit fully in the chair with feet flat on the ground and back against the backrest. Of course, should you really want to display confidence you can pick your moment to lean back and cross your legs, preferably as you start talking to someone before returning to the ‘correct’ working pose.

Walking

Walking is more complicated given you are trying to all the above whilst actually moving. A good start is to stop looking directly at the pavement. In London this can be difficult since we are constantly watching our feet. You also don’t want to stare daggers into the distance, or appear to look down your nose at those around you. Look into the middle distance and keep your shoulders back and arms relaxed. Confidence is about being carefree. Aknowledge those around you. Be curious of what’s around you. Look like you are loving your walk to the supermarket.

Waiting

When waiting is when we are most self-concious and likely to dive into our phone screens. You’re at a bus stop and worried you will be late. You’re waiting for someone who might not show up. There’s one person before you in that interview room. Whether sitting or standing, remember the same principles. These also keep your airways open so you can breathe properly and relax. Consider the ‘contrapposto’ of putting more weight on one leg. This isn’t great for you but is a powerful technique used by Greek sculptors to make works look striking.

There’s nothing wrong with getting your phone out, in fact people can do very productive things on their phone. Hold it in one hand and use the index finger of your other to scroll and type, rather than taking the Gameboy hold. It’s probably better you don’t play a game, but look at the news, or even LinkedIn.

Talking

Appearance remains superficial. What you say doesn’t. What’s more, how you say it can have big effect. However, at the same time this can shoot you in the foot if you do it wrong. Because of this it is best that you be true to yourself. Don’t change your voice or accent as this rarely works. Simply work on your delivery. Project clearly, slow down and consider your tone of voice. Many of us are so lazy we mumble and stagger through a sentence. Enjoy the sound of your own voice and enjoy the conversation you are having.

Focus! Make eye contact. If you are the sort of person who has to fiddle, use that to emphasise your voice.

 

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

 

The post How to Master Confident Body Language (with Monkey Photos!) appeared first on Felix Magazine.