Fancy Being James Bond? Watch Out For an Mi6 Shoulder Tap on the Tube

We’ve all had that feeling of coming out the cinema wishing we could be a superhero or a secret agent. After two to three hours of watching James Bond do serious stunts, cutting clapbacks and walking away with just a scratch, why wouldn’t you envy him? The man’s knee-deep in at least one thing you want. It might be success with the sex of your choice, athleticism, invincibility or – if you’re like me – passport stamps.

Now unlike radioactive powers, this dream future could become a reality. The Secret Intelligence Service (a.k.a. Mi6/The Judi Dench Department) has announced that it’s looking for more recruits. Sounds exciting, but aren’t they always? Of course: but now they’re doing it with some old school cool that’s hard to ignore.

The old ways are the best

In the bonny old days of Blighty, Mi6 were known for a super secret recruitment technique. All it took was a tap on the shoulder (usually said shoulder was attached to an blue blood Oxbridge grad) and you had an interview and a James Bond job if you wanted one. All very hush-hush, ‘the raven flies at dawn’ and whatnot – essentially, it’s really bloody cool.

Mi6 have finally figured out that being cool is a useful recruitment tool. As such, they’re bringing back the ol’ shoulder tap as a way of offering a role within the service. The renewed measure is all down to a lack of diversity in spying. The Mi6 chief (not called ‘M’, but ‘C’) believes people automatically opt themselves out of an Mi6 job because they think it’s for the white upper-class elite.

C, or Alex Younger as he’s also less-excitingly called, wants the agency to seek out its new breed of spies, rather than rely on wannabe’s applying directly. Contrary to a surprisingly wide-held belief, spying isn’t very Bond-like (okay, so the dream may have to remain in the cinema). Mi6 are more likely to get gun enthusiasts applying than those with the right mentality and skill set. C thinks going out and canvassing for the right recruit will have more success than simple job sites.

Tap that tryouts

Problem is, this tapping malarkey will only work if people know about it. It’s well known we Londoners prefer as little physical contact with strangers as possible. Just as we all know that the Northern line is designed to make sure this hope lies cramped and gasping in the gutter, unfulfilled for 30 years of commuting. If I don’t turn round at someone stabbing me in the ribs with an ‘adult’ scooter, I’m not going to notice a furtive tap on the shoulder.

It’s a damn sight more interesting the CVs and cover letters, however, so I wish them luck. I think they’re better off modernising a bit and taking lessons from social media. Do a double tap for a like, and triple tap that shoulder to add that recruit to your employee stream. It’s a step towards the joyous day when getting a job is as simple as Instagram.

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