Can I just talk to you for a minute? London vs the Chugger

The charity-mugger- or ‘chugger’ debate is a difficult one. Hotspots like Covent Garden and Tottenham Court Road are full of young people just trying to do an honest job. The charities are good causes and the paid fundraisers are an effective means of boosting donations- at least the number on reasonable wages supports this.

However, the vast majority of us cannot sign up to every direct debit no matter how worthy the cause. For many, this creates an awkward situation of attempting to avoid the moral crisis of meeting one of these friendly greeters. Passing in the street becomes like British Bulldog, swerving from side to side and often colliding with people, walls and bollards alike. It is a wonder the Daily Mail has yet to publish a story on someone getting run over as they saunter into the bus lane. We each have our own way of avoiding these people, but we’re stuck in what can be an entertaining situation where we both know each others’ game precisely.

Words Will Get You Anywhere

A chugger in an Oxfam bib calls over:

‘I love your coat man! Can I just talk to you for a minute?” I reply quite truthfully that this coat was a purchase from his very charity. That’s around half a year’s direct debits methinks. Should you also be an avid bargain-hunter you can regale a chugger with each part of your outfit and from what charity shop it came, which you probably bore your friends with anyway.

Then there’s the opposite situation.

‘Hello! Have you got a moment?’

‘No, sorry.’ She then looks me up and down as I walk away. (I’m wearing a blazer, open neck shirt and slim white chinos)

‘You look nice!’

‘Thank you’ Perhaps the real benefit of chuggers is to compliment busy Londoners. It is especially nice when this comes after you have refused.

 

I seem a favourite of Hare Krishna followers who tell me I look like George Harrison- who was kind enough to pay for their temple. With such praise of my flowing locks and beard I can’t quite help but listen avidly to a book sale pitch. Being a frequent occurance, I already had ‘Chant and be Happy’ and so he upgraded me to a thicker volume. It’s mine, he says, a gift. Except, it takes fifty quid or however much to print on that razor thin book-club paper. ‘I’m just off to the cash point…’

Then there are times when a chugger just knows too well that you’re escaping. But they’re paid anyway and idleness looks bad. On approach, a few files of people back, I begin my swerve. As I get close I peruse a tourist trader’s carpet of crap so as to look away from the chugger.

‘Hello’ she says smiling as I walk past, ‘I know you’re trying to avoid me but I thought I’d ask anyway.’ I laugh and look back as we both bask in the hilarity of top marks for effort.

 

Chugger dodges

‘Can I talk to you…’

‘Sorry, I don’t speak English.’ I have a friend who swears by this, but I have yet to witness it.

Then there is crossing over the road to avoid them, quite a task on Tottenham Court Road, only to meet another the opposite side.

Maybe you get your phone out and smile politely as you walk past? Or do you commit the classic faux pas when with a friend of companion, turning to them for a response? This in effect offloads the moral dilemma, in effect saying ‘They’re talking to you, you know.’

 

Of course, the fact these Chuggers are only growing in number proves they work. This is surely a good thing for their respective charities (who let’s not forget pay astronomical salaries to their top staff). It is the usual hard debate between charity and effective marketing. Ultimately to make the most difference, we should not pay that £60/year+ direct debit that passes through so many filters before it makes a difference. We don’t just pay for marketing, but whole logistics and infrastructure that huge international charities rely on. Instead, consider our grassroots level local charities. They don’t make much, but you can be guaranteed a tenner will go direct to where it’s most needed.

 

Stewart Vickers @VickHellfire

 

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