M.A.M.I.L.- Middle Aged Man in Lycra. It’s a thing. Not Justin Hawkins of Neo-glam rockers The Darkness, but a whole breed of Home Counties alpha-males who like to vacuum pack their luggage into a stretchy bodysuit and go cycling. We don’t understand it either. It is, however, the must-have cycle style.
If the fashion atrocity were not enough- the chosen purposes of ‘rereational cycling’ and ‘exercise’ surely are. This is not a relaxing jaunt down the canal, but an endurance test on which all masculine pride is pinned in holding up as much traffic as possible with a pack of MAMIL comrades.
Surrounding them, however, most cyclists just don’t bother. The cycle courier is dressed for their undergraduate lecture. Is lycra really so great? Do microfibers actually do anything? ‘technical t-shirts’ aside, the dress of the cycling pioneers surely deserve a revival.
The Outfit
Special cleat shoes that clip on to your pedals. The result? The comical effect of falling off when stopping at traffic lights.
The bodysuit- Boney M and Queen together could not claim to such skin-tight synthetics. Some fall prey to the classic frontman tactic of concealing bog roll, socks, cucumbers and similar phallic vegetables within their trouserage when talking of calories, kale and BMI at vegan cafes.
The water tube- MAMILs wear water bladders as if hiking through the Sahara when taking in Hyde Park. Let’s hope the suits do not contain a similar aqueous system for recycling.
The Fitbit- This Orwellian device tracks your ‘progress’ via an app. Within this app you enter in your quinoa, kale and whey protein powder intake. It tells you you’re still fat and to cycle some more. The band also judges things like how well you sleep- it’s amazing what can be gauged through your wrist action. Fifty quid well spent.
Tweed Cycle Style
In opposition to this worrying trend, the annual London Tweed Run seeks to restore London to traditional cycling garments. Bourne & Hollingsworth of vintage 1920s-style party fame run this circuit around the capital every year. All participants dress in tweed (surprisingly) with various picnics and tea breaks en route, which alone justifies this venture as a better mindset than MAMIL madness. http://www.tweedrun.com/
In the rise of vintage in recent years, traditional cycling wear has become a prominent trend. There is now even a Penny Farthing club combining club-printed t-shirts with top hats. www.pennyfarthingclub.com
The Outfit
Brogues, the classic as can be found in all of London’s shoemakers.
Tweed suit- the height of casual elegance. This gender-neutral, sustainable classic maintains all the desirable qualities of a cycling outfit with breathable warmth and layering to adjust temperature. The wool also holds a degree of water resistance. The natural bounce hopefully offers slightly better if considerably more costly protection should you fall off.
Rather than the fitbit, the tweed runner’s key accessory is the pocket watch. This is available in a traditional ‘hunter’ case that surrounds the glass and flips open so the workings are protected.
But is this retrospective snobbery? A sartorial apartheid between the new and ‘practical’ and old elegance? Actually, the dress is only skin-deep. The cavalier attitude of the Tweed Runners seems a liberated breath of fresh air from the wrapped spandex-souls atop their carbon fibre. BMI becomes G&T.
Bradley Wiggins’ Mod Style
Wiggins’ bold mod style is as much a part of his identity as his famous sideburns. This is a very London look with sleek tailoring available from Soho and Carnaby Street in particular. The only problem here is Wiggins separates his cycling wear from his usual style and holds much responsibility for the MAMIL cycling explosion with the ‘Wiggins Effect’. If only he had worn such elegance for his Tour de France victory the popular imitation would follow, that is if he could have won the feat in the slightly less practical outfit.
The Naked Cycle Ride
This more unusual event has actually succeeded in leaving even less to the imagination than the MAMIL. The annual London naked bike ride is a breath of (cold) fresh air in protest against oil dependency. Participants can be painted before taking part and full nudity is optional. Personally, we would rather the Tweed Run, but each to their own…
http://www.worldnakedbikeride.org/uk/
The Solution to Lycra Domination?
At the end of the day, however, perhaps the best cycling wear is the most common. T-shirts, shorts and trainers may not be much of a statement, but they are easy. The more snappy dress of Tweed Runners and Bradley Wiggins is certainly more elegant but might not be best for everyone Monday to Friday. Cycle style might just not be for everyone. As for going naked, maybe lycra isn’t that bad after all.
The post Cycle Style- Lycra Domination? appeared first on Felix Magazine.
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