The Commuter Scooter – the Future of Movement?

The commuter scooter.  The name rhymes and sounds appropriately efficient and metropolitan. However, the same words don’t quite arise when you see a young professional gliding along the pavement on an elongated child’s scooter- no Lambrettas here. What’s with that?

 

Scooters are fast/ You are lazy/ You feel a need to spice up walking…

Firstly, we all face an annoying ten minute walk at least once in our commute. It could be from home to the tube, from tube to office or a hop between pubs. Clearly this is one of many ‘first world problems’, but then we get angry  at every other aspect of the journey, so why not.

Even a Brompton bike has to be folded before boarding train or bus, and they can set you back around a grand while Tommy’s platform for the school run only costs thirty quid.*

*See ‘Premium scooters’ below

Exercise

We’re fatter. Everyone knows it. While our forebears were down mines and living off a pasty per day we are in overheated offices with convenience food on the doorstep. Getting the tub of olives with your Meal Deal isn’t quite enough.

Therefore the excessive use of one leg, while unnatural, logically seems to solve the problem without having to dabble with sportswear or getting up early.

Reduced Chance of Dying

We are all aware that cycling in London is dangerous.  For many of us exercise, freedom from rising fares and carriage door to door are benefits rather subdued given our lack of enjoyment at the prospect of having our face mashed into the side of a lorry.

However, the scooter is still acceptable on the pavement with feet just inches from the ground.

Convenience of Scooters

Sling it under your arm and then leave it folded under your desk. No locking up is required and no one, for better or worse, is ever going to steal it. Escalators are easy and you don’t have to consider the effects of drinking on cycling ability.

Premium Scooters

This is likely the reason behind the emergence of Premium brand scooters that seek to reclaim urban personal transport from infantile toys. Even in Harrods there are some well-marketed examples around the £200 mark.

The Downsides of Scooters

The problems?  Number 1- Hills.  Number 2- you look silly.

In fact, this writer rather liked the sound of one until mentioning the interest to his other half. Her response was not encouraging, to the extent she would not be seen with the device present. This is clearly the target conundrum behind the expensive versions. It won’t be long before comparing scooters becomes the dominant topic of conversation between alpha-people.

What’s more, if this proves to be a growing trend we shall have pavements flocked by scooters, mowing down pensioners at bus stops. We are lucky hoverboards have been such a passing fad to join the ranks of the segway and the Sinclair C5.

Fortunately, consensus suggests they are lethal in wet weather. Aside from getting soaked, the chance of skidding to the detriment of knees and tailoring is all too high. For now it seems there is hope that simple, unfashionable walking may still hold the answer.

 

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